"Who is this King of Glory
That pursues me with His love
And haunts me with each hearing
With His softly spoken words
My conscience a reminder of forgiveness that I need
Who is this King of Glory that offers it to me?"


   Well, it's a new week, fellow bloggers and bloggesses. My life seems to have calmed down a little bit. I'm baby-sitting all this week which means money...my own earned money, which I haven't done in like forever. Trey and I might be getting a job together on one of the island theatres. Wouldn't that be awesome? I've never had a real job before so I' kinda nervous...I'm not good with math so I'm really nervous about the cash registers, but it can't be that hard. Me and Jen want to get an apartment together after I graduate. I need to get on my own two feet ahead of time so it doesn't all come crashing down on us or anything. I hope my job doesn't hurt my school work too much though. This year should be easy though, so...yeah...
   I wonder what Trey was like before he got involved with God again. I remember how he was at first...kind of...presuming, I guess you could say. "Preacher girl, lemme have it..." kind of attitude, where he wanted to come up with something that contradicts anything you have to say about God or anything. Until one day he didn't say anything. I think it was because he didn't want to, or he just couldn't find anything to say against it. I know something reached him though.  I didn't know him well enough before then to have a good grip on his personality though, so. And to be honest, I wasn't really looking for a relationship with a guy like him. He wasn't what I considered a "Strong Christian" which is what I was, and still am, looking for. But I didn't block him out. The more I got to know him, the better I liked him, but I didn't want to date him until he got his life straight. And even though we aren't dating anymore...to a lot of people, it would seem like a big waste, but now I have one of the best friends ever. I wouldn't trade him for anything.
   Speaking of getting things straight with God...we had a little talk the other night and I got convicted of a lot of things. I felt, and still feel, so much better now...so much more freedom. My burdens feel a lot lighter.
   This one's kinda short but there's not much to say except that I don't deserve Christ's spirit of grace and supplication. I never will.

-Nena

   I don't think I've ever had anything get under my skin the way this whole ordeal has been. This has probably been the hardest few months of my life. No one seems to understand the situation. No one cares to. Because relationships have been been so steriotyped, everyone thinks they know everything there is to know about them. I've got a question. Why can't people just let me figure this out on my own? Love has been so corrupted by opinions and heartbreak, and a severe lack of faith in people in general, why shouldn't I try something different for once? So what if I'm inexperienced? Isn't that the way to be when it comes to love and emotions? Naîve? If I were to follow everyone else's advice on this relationship it would turn out just like love is made out to be today: weak. No, I've never been in love. Yes, I'm missing out on something with an awesome guy who thinks the world of me. Yes, I do feel bad! I feel horrible! But let me live my own life! Let me make my own decisions, along with my own mistakes! No one understands. No one but God, that is. I'm going to have to start learning to lean on Him more.
   I don't understand. When people see Trey and I...well, let me put it as one of my friends put it..."so obvious it hurts", and "you like him, he likes you and the whole world knows it, even if you two don't". No, I had no idea. Really! I had NO IDEA!

   "It's torturous to watch two ppl so obviously crazy about each other and yet they won't do anything about it."

   I guess the drama is self-inflicted. But I refuse to lose a friendship over this. Yes, we still flirt. A lot. Yes, we still like each other. I mean, what do people expect, for us to stop dating and just all of a sudden not have feelings for each other anymore? Or maybe they just think I should stop hanging around him so much. I mean, we're not together, right? We should just stop and forget about each other and just be friends. I'm not going to let that happen. Trey is one of my best friends, not just a friend, and I don't care who says it, I'm not going to lose him because of a few painful and confused emotions! Everyone says "That never works", but I'm not everyone. And I'm still here. I'm still standing. I'm still hanging on to this, no matter what anyone says. The flirting will eventually stop, when one of us meets someone new. And of course we won't be seeing each other as often. But God never intended for us to have pain or regret. I don't regret meeting Trey. If anything I regret moving so fast. But I'm still glad we met each other. Whenever I say that we're not together someone says "yeah right". Even my closest friends. Even the people I look up to. Even if they're just joking, there's still some underlying truth in there words, you know?

   I also don't understand why people think that boys who are friends with girls aren't ever just friends. I refuse to believe that, and am completly and utterly against it. I know it's harder, but it's not impossible. Trey isn't as close to me as Jen is, I don't know if he ever will be, but I'm not blocking it out.

   New York was awesome. I'm not much up to talking about it right now - to put it shortly and sweetly, it was life-changing. Our youth group is going to be doing a BIG turnaround. Everyone got to let out a lot of bad feelings and things. It's gonna be awesome. For more elaborate detail on what we did, check out Trey's description here.
   I had surgery tuesday. Everything went fine. I had a tumor (it wasn't cancerous or anything), and they had to remove it. They put me to sleep. It felt good. Lol.  My mom's trying to decide where to put her new shop. She might remodel the garage and put it in there. That would be cool. School starts back in like 19 days. I'll be a senior! WHOO HOO! We get a new music teacher to replace Mr.Gray. He's fresh out of college, so I'll bet it'll be exciting because he'll be enthusiastic since he's just out of college and everything. Maybe he'll be a really good christian. Maybe he'll give voice lessons. That'll be really cool. I want to go see I,Robot. I heard it was really good. Well, I'm about typed out. I had to rant on the whole Trey issue. We didn't talk hardly at all today. We're trying to seperate ourselves slowly. It's really hard. But, you know, all smiles. :D



-Nena

   



   We're going to New York TOMMOROW! I am so freakin' excited! AHH! It's going to be so awesome. Heh. Okay..anyways...
   Bad, bad news. Last night, at around 2:00 in the morning, we recieved a phone call telling us that my mom's shop had burned down. She has her own hair dressing salon inside of a clubhouse, and somehow the whole clubhouse burned down. They aren't sure what started it yet, but they think it was something to do with the air-conditioning system. That's half of our income. I'm not sure what my mom is going to do. But I do know that God is my provider and let that happen for something greater. The devil's really been trying hard to stop us from going to New York but it's not gonna happen. He doesn't want us to go for a reason - a really BIG reason. Something awesome is going to happen while we're there and he's using all he's got to stop us from going, but it's not gonna happen.

   Ya here that devil? WE'VE ALREADY WON!!! Get your hands off of my family and my youth group! You have no power and no authority, we have authority over you in the name of Jesus!

   What an idiot. Did he really think this was going to stop us? Pff.

   I keep thinking that maybe there was something I could've done about it though. I didn't get hardly any prayer time in this week because I've just been so busy with getting ready for New York, and I wonder if God was just trying to get me to wake up and listen to Him. I don't know. I've been trying. Maybe I could've made a difference if I'd have listened more. I did other things than pray but...still. I don't know. Just gotta pray harder. I'd appreciate any prayers. Our family would, actually, because we really need this money with school starting back and having spentover $2000 on this trip to New York. I know God's going to work it out. He already has. :)

~Neener

   How's everybody been? Sorry I haven't updated this in a while. My life's just been really hectic since summer school started and we've been having to learn these dramas for new york, and raising money for new york. I'm so excited about it though! Everybody always talks about how missionary trips are life-changing experiences. I hope it is for me. I might have said that already (lol). But today was my last day of summer school and I passed algebra IIB with a 70.3! lol. I'm 90% sure I passed chemistry too. I had like an 86 average in there. I started to get worried about it but God promised me everything would be alright, so I trusted in Him and held on to His promise. That's what faith'll do for ya!