I need...air...space...*puff*...*wheeze*...a life...*groan*...

-Nena

Translation of the Octavio Paz text for "Water Night" by Eric Whitacre

WATER NIGHT

Night with the eyes of a horse that trembles in the night,
night with eyes of water in the field asleep
is in your eyes, a horse that trembles,
is in your eyes of a secret water.

Eyes of shadow-water,
eyes of well-water,
eyes of dream-water.

Silence and solitude,
two little animals moon-led,
drink in your eyes,
drink in those waters.

If you open your eyes,
night opens, doors of musk,
the secret kingdom of the water opens
flowing from the center of night.

And if you close your eyes,
a river fills you from within,
flows forward, darkens you:
night brings its wetness to beaches in your soul.

1 Corinthians 13:7 …(love) always trusts (NIV)

Love always trusts because love has the highest of expectations. Love trusts because love does not see the darkness that causes mistrust. Love is willing to invest fully in every person, for love knows that even in defeat and personal disappointment there is victory when love reigns. Love always trusts for love dominates all of the disappointments of life that causes us to mistrust. Love knows that there is nothing to lose and everything to gain by holding the highest of expectations. Love trusts always, even after disappointment comes for love is too powerful a force to be stopped by disappointment. Love trusts, for love is God. Love trusts for in God, there is infinite security, infinite hope, and infinite expectations for future glory that will always become real.

   I don't have much time to update this thing but I haven't in like two weeks so I figured I should. I started my job last wednesday...it's really hard. Not because we have hard work or anything, but because I'm working there as soon as I get off from school until 11:30, and I have to stand the whole time, which hurts my feet, but I also get free Icee's and coke's and popcorn and nachos and all the free new movies I want. So...:-).

   So...yeah....Trey and I are officially boyfriend and girlfriend now. I told everybody if they wouldn't freak out it would be okay...they just made it ten times more difficult because they refused to understand. I would've probably gotten with him a lot sooner if it hadn't been for that. But anyways, I really had to repent after God told me to lay off of Trey for a while, and now that I've finally seen what I did wrong (not with Trey, but some things that sort of intercepted my relationship with God before, when I was with him...), I felt like it was okay to be with him now. I know God's got my back. ;-)
   I'm having a hard time. I'm in the middle of the hardest thing right now...I can't really publicly disclose it on here because who knows who will read it...but I could use some prayers. Everyone I thought that I could depend and trust on...the people that were tride and true, just aren't there. I mean they are, but they don't understand anything, and they question me and my motives. They question one thing, they question them all, you know? I feel like I've been stabbed ruthlessly in the back. The knife twisted everytime.

   But I have this hope in Jesus Christ...

   I'm only clay in the potter's hand. Even if it means throwing everything away, all that I hold dear, and starting over again, I'm willing. I'll hang on to Him with everything. I will not be moved...I'll say of the Lord, You are my shield...my strength, my portion, deliverer, strong tower, my very present help in time of need, my everything.

   Jen's going through some crap she doesn't deserve to be put through. It's a good thing she's finally putting past relationships behind her. They do nothing but hold her down, an she doesn't deserve that anymore. She deserves to be uplifted in her life with Christ, not made to feel bad about nothing. She doesn't owe any pity, neither. None. Best friends don't need the others pity, they need their love.

   I'm gonna go. I'm getting my senior portraits done today! Yay!

   And I love Trey! Heh heh! :D